The Hidden Cost of ‘Fake It Till You Make It’ Leadership: Why Authenticity Matters

Understanding the Hidden Costs of Leadership Facades

Many leaders today find themselves caught in a cycle of "fake it till you make it"—a pattern that comes at a hidden cost. We often think that projecting confidence while suppressing genuine feelings is a badge of leadership. However, according to Henna Pryor, an expert on workplace performance, surface acting can lead to a draining emotional cycle that disconnects teams and impedes effective leadership.

The Vicious Cycle of Surface Acting

Surface acting involves pretending to feel a certain way, masking true emotions with feigned enthusiasm. A recent study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior tracked employees over ten workdays and found that those who started their day low on energy relied more on surface acting. This, in turn, further drained their energy, creating a damaging cycle. The result? Increased emotional exhaustion and a diminished ability to connect with team members.

Henna Pryor reflects on her own experiences as a leader, recalling times when she projected a ‘strong’ exterior while internally feeling overwhelmed. This disconnect can erode authenticity, making it hard for leaders to engage with their teams effectively.

Deep Acting vs Surface Acting

What’s the difference between surface acting and deep acting? Surface acting can lead to feelings of alienation—both from oneself and from others—while deep acting encourages leaders to truly align their emotions with their expressions. This genuine engagement results in healthier outcomes, including better job satisfaction and lower turnover rates. Leaders should aim to engage in deep acting by acknowledging their feelings and proactively choosing how to express them.

Recognizing Warning Signs

How can leaders recognize if they're stuck in a cycle of surface acting? Some warning signs include waking up depleted, dreading the day, and feeling disconnected from team interactions. Research suggests these patterns undermine self-control and can lead to negative coping mechanisms—a further indication of the hidden costs of leadership facades.

Breaking the Cycle: Simple Steps to Renew Leadership

To break this exhausting cycle, leaders can implement several strategies:

1. Take Micro-Pauses: Giving yourself even a five-minute break during the day can recharge your emotional batteries.
2. Reframe Interactions: Before engaging with your team, ask yourself what the interaction is really about, allowing for a more authentic connection.
3. Prioritize Relaxation: Engaging in low-effort restorative activities after work can prepare you for a more authentic day tomorrow.
4. Be Open: Sharing your struggles with a trusted colleague fosters connection and can lighten the emotional load.
5. Commit to Mindfulness: Schedule quiet time before meetings to reflect on how you want to show up instead of just reacting.

The Path Forward

Ultimately, transitioning from surface to deep acting can lead to a more authentic and effective leadership style. By embracing genuine emotions and fostering a culture of openness, leaders can cultivate meaningful relationships with their teams. Moving away from a performance mentality opens the door to true leadership where real success flourishes. It starts with simply being real—not just for yourself but for your whole team.

Creating meaningful connections with your team isn't just beneficial; it's essential for sustainable leadership. Embrace authenticity, and watch as your leadership transforms from mere performance into an enriching experience for you and your team.